Healing is a journey. There’s no time parameters. There’s no correct way for a person to heal. It is all based on the needs of that individual. That is why I write. Writing is very healing for me. Some might feel like talking with a friend is more healing. I am an introvert, at heart. When I type my thoughts or feelings on WordPress I feel relaxed. Letter by letter I am releasing my pain. Before I start typing away, I always pray. I pray that God gives me strength to open up to others and to share my story.
With the openness sometimes comes the rude comments or emails. I understand that everyone is not going to agree with me. I understand that everyone is not going to understand my situation. I am the only one who has to walk in my shoes and God should be the only judge.
Last year my journey began. I knew something was wrong in my marriage. However, it took me 17 years to understand what it was. Divorce is prevalent in my direct family and the generations before. I took an oath to God on my wedding day. I really tried to stay true to that oath. I am a very strong and determined woman. I now understand that God does not want one of His daughters to be abused.
Healing takes time. You can’t put a date or a year when you are fully healed. It is the same as the grieving process. In my heart, I know I will be fully restored. Some might ask how can you heal when you are still married to him? I can heal because I am finally working on myself. I am working on my heart and not his. I am devoting time and energy to myself. Something that I have never done in the past.
I am patient and hope you all see that in my writings. I do not make rash decisions and I usually always think before I act. You might not see progression in my writings. Maybe I am not acting fast enough for some. However, I know what is true to my heart. That is the only thing that matters.